What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
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I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
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He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH