she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.