He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
third nipple confirmed
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
