perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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