Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
