I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
