I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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