I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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