you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
