did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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