i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize