i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize