Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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