I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
