We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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