just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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