I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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