well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
