Your face is a jimmy john
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
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Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
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The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize