Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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