you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
