If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
