We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
