Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
