my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
