just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
