dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
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