I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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