Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize