bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
