Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
