SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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