Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
