Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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