I feel great
I just peed on a car
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We have so much sex to catch up on
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
