You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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