we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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