matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
