Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
