her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize