how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
