office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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