i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
