I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
