i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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