Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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