the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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