You're completely useless in the revolution.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
