Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
