Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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