My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
