is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
