I've blown a few things in my day
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
