you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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