can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So vagazzling was a success
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
