I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
