Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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