If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
