Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
