She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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