I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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