I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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