i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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