how do flat chested girls get laid?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
