The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
