can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
