I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I think I won the penis lottery.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
