Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
