you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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