i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
