no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
